xanga. is it still alive? werd?

zomg.

Well, regardless of who reads these or not... finally a real post. :)

Today I woke up, my head throbbing, vision blurring, ears ringing. I tried to stand up, but I could not. I fell back and stared up at my ceiling. Calm down, I told myself. Everything is half mental anyways. I got back up and onto my feet only to slump to one knee. What was happening. I looked out at the brilliant sunrise. I should be happy, yet I am not. My eyes glance at the clock... 7:54a. I need to hurry. I quick jump in the shower and am out agian and dressed by 8:05a. I stumbled down the stairs. My head. Ouch was all I could think. I tied my shoes and went out the door. Nine hours later I walked back into that same door. Almost instantly the pain came back. I collapsed on my chair and stared at my computer screen. What is wrong. I slowly get up and head to my room where i try desperately to fall asleep, but the sound of my mother's voice calls me downstairs again. *sigh* Too much thinking makes the mind hurt. I blank out to the screen of my computer. No. This is much more serious. Six pills later I feel no difference. I will sleep it off... yet here I am again. My thoughts flashed back to the day's events. It had to be the food. I struggle to replay each action in that place. I had to have seen something. All I see is the screen and frames of film passing before my eyes. Editing a movie for 7 hours drains me. I am sick. I need someone to hang out with. I just need to hear someone's voice that has become familiar to me. I long to go back to that place called Siloam Springs. I'm pleading before you to please understand. Its you. The time is slow and I am sinking. I watch slowly as my life is passing by. When everything falls down will you hold my hand?